The Hardest Thing I Had to Say
by Brookelover22
Summary: This a AU Leyton story, my first Fan fiction ever. Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott have been friends forever, now lucas is getting married and peyton is still fighting with her feelings for him.


**Hi everyone, My name is Cindy, in I've been reading a lot of One Tree Hill fan fictions on here lately. They are all wonderful. I'm a huge Brooke and Peyton fan. I love to read stoies about then, like brulian and Leyton are my favortie stories. Anywany this is my first story ever. I been working on it for awhile so please let me know what you think.**

**It is AU leyton.**

**This story is told in Peyton's point of view, just thought I would let you know that.**

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The Hardest Thing I Had to Say

CHAPTER 1

It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. Lucas Scott was his name. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you would chased them and beat them up. I would always tackle him to the ground, sometimes I think he let me win. But I never asked.

After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together.

I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. When we got to high school we had separate friends, but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school.

One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling.

All through high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom he went with the beauty queen Brooke Davis, she was beautiful, charming, tatented, eveything I;m not. I went with Julian Baker, he was cute, a super star on the basketball team, I really don't know what make us click, but we did. I wanted to be with him. and he wanted to me with me, So that was all that matter at the time. I really wished Lucas would of asked me, but he didn't brooke Davis was his crush seen freashman year.

That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream which was also to be married and to settle down and draw, I cuddle next to him. Praying that the words I wanted to say will come out some how, but they never did.

I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt.

We both got into UCLA which we were both very happy about. Brooke got into, that part I wasn't to happy about. I thought after a few months of dating Brooke would get tried of him and move on, but she didn't. Julian went to NYU we still talked a lot but we wasn't as serious as Lucas and brooke.

All through college I wanted to tell him but he was still with Brooke. After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. Brooke also got her dream job in New York, my heart broken when he said he thinks Brooke is the one. I told him that I was happy he was getting everything he had dream of. He just smiled .

"Thank you Peyton, I love you" He said,

"Thank you Lucas, I love you to," I whispered I just wished he knew that my I love you was more than a friend I love you.

"You are a great friend I'm going to miss you" he said giving me that crazy smile I fell in love with when we where like fifteen.

"Yeah me to."

So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart.

A week later he call to tell me that Brooke was moving in with him. And he was planning on asking her ti marry him. "So what do you Ppeyton? Do you think she will say yes?"

I took a deep breath, as I try to hold back the tears that so despartely want to fell. "She'll be crazy to say no." I said, what esle was I suppose to say. I love you don't marry her. That is what my mind and heart wa scearming, but I needed Lucas in my life and I was to afraid to tell him and rist losing him all together.

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**Let me know what you think? I know it not prefect i'm not good at the whole spell and grammer thing. but I tryied. Please review.**


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